It's a Saturday morning,
The birds are chirping, the old folks yammer away about their lawns that need cutting, and soaked in the early sunbeams of morning's fresh blues...sits this muthafuc-
Slim Charles said it best:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUD49wuxmP4&t=0m23s
And it isn't a lie, I tell you. For years, I thought I'd just sort of choose where I needed to go, then life just kind of happens. One moment you're going one way, next it's March 12th and suddenly you don't want to upload.
A few videos get squeezed out nearly a month later, and suddenly it's April 18th...another March 12th. It wasn't until recently I really just ran into the one roadblock I never thought I'd encounter with uploading Tales:I just did not care anymore
I mean Edna, Asch, Spada, Baba...these solos or runs mean what in the end? Bringing entertainment to the 200-500 odd-some people who may get some entertainment on a lunch break, or after a long homework session always functioned as the fuel to the golden engine, but my feelings have been neutral for years now. I did not particularly enjoy uploading Tales for some time, but I did not loathe the act.
I grew to ignore those "I-just-watch-for-the-music" types. I long since stopped needing validation for uploading an RPG to YouTube, so comments; or the lack of, isn't the problem. I even got a laugh out of the "What's da' BGM" even when it was mentioned in the video or description. A part of the game. A part of a game I really just don't feel like playing much these days.
It's a blog, so I have no reason to feel bad getting a bit long winded. It's whatever.
I feel the same way about the poetry lately too. Perhaps it's just another phase or a transition. Change typically happens after one becomes uncomfortable in a familiar environment. Right now I feel uncomfortable. I upload, people watch, they forget. I upload, people watch, people forget.
I hate being predictable, and I hate falling into patterns. Normally, I dislike--NOT seeing things to the end, but that's life. Life never really hands out closure. It may be a justification to to walk away with as little shame as possible.
This isn't a rant. I have no real gripes with anyone or anything. Namco is doing great with Berseria, the Tales fanbase is still trying to heal and grow post-TSF, and every-so-often, there is a thumbnail on someone's feed from a run of year's past. Hey guys, here's boss four, from another run started years ago! At some point, Clip or Passaro will return a "Who?" and that's fine. Baba may add me as a cameo battle in a game when they discover I did nil for the West.
Either way, I grow tired. I suppose when I do walk away, the theatrics I'd do back in the day just won't cut it. Throwing the systems in the closet, and just doing something else sounds about right. So I apologize, life doesn't hand closure out. It may be hours, days, weeks, or months before anyone notices. And I'm good with that.
Or you'll head to YouTube and see that damn thumbnail letting you know the fifth boss from that run I started years ago is finally up. On a Saturday, under some sunbeams wondering why my blinds are even open in the first place. Cheers
- 2016/04/19(火) 20:09:40|